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NiceanWolf
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Name: David
Birthday: 6/15/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: Intervarsity Christian Fellowship
www.houstonivcf.com
Blogging
http://wolfbowl.blogspot.com
Spring Branch Community Church (http://www.sbcchurch.org)
Salvation Army
(http://www.houstonsalvationarmy.org)
(http://www.ringbells.org)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Nonprofit
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Member Since:
7/22/2005
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| Hello all,
I'm in beautiful Nigeria. I'm still exhausted from the 72 hour journey. I had a layover over in Newark because I was late from Dallas/Fort Worth. They put me up in a hotel, so it was allright... I guess. I woke up at 5 am and got to the airport at 6 for my 8am flight, but they changed my flight to 9pm. So, I bought The Bourne Identity and read most of it. (I'll blog on the fiasco in Jersey later, I already wrote out what I'm going to say)
Let me back up some. I went to Rec Week 06 with my friends from IVCF and it rocked my world! It was (in one word): fascinating. God showed himself to me in ways I had not previously imagined, he showed me what it means for me to be humble. Secondly, I learned that Jesus wants us all to listen and respond to him, and response can mean attempting to understand what he is saying.
I was tired from that, but luckily I had a day to rest before I had to go to Fort Worth...or not. I had to chase down a horse for the night with my grandfather. (more on that on my MySpace blog).
I'm going to start watching season 1 of 24 tonight. I've never actually seen any of them.
I find myself missing my church and telling EVERYONE about it. Even people on the plane. Even my soon-to-be staff worker, Darnel Dibbles.
Well, peace out friends,
David Rose | | |
| So, I'm meeting with a minister on campus, a guy that goes by the name of Richard. He's emphasizing that I spend some time everyday with Christ. Its a simple message that I have heard many times, but the difference here is that he wants it to be my number 1 focus.
I'm trying, its hard, but I seem to be changing. Ever so slowly, my life is getting realer.
School is harder than ever before (and getting up to go to class at all on rainy days is even harder). I am motivated knowing that God crafted every day. Think about that. God created rain. God created rainy, cold days. God has granted me the ability to wake up and walk to class. Should I not honor Him in this? Er...its difficult sometimes. But I am working on it, and things are changing.
David
P.S.-I'm going to this bar every Wednesday, by the name of Helios, for open mic poetry. It starts at 8:00 p.m.. I'd love to see some friends there, and its a very positive (yet, very secular) environment. Keep an open mind and bring something to read (your own work, please).
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| Wow, its been an eternity (to me) since my last post!
I am now comfortably single, why? After all that heartache and
turmoil, how can I be at peace? How can I be around tons of
beautiful, God-fearing women and say "I'm happy by myself, thank you,
let's just be friends!"?
I'll tell you how. John 15 is how. I am abiding in
Christ. I am trying to be like a child. And, it got much
easier after that. So easy. Just start reading scripture
for the fun of it. Every day. Between classes. Pray
like you mean it. Stop doing things that, in the back of your
head you know are really for you. Don't worry about doing
anything- if you are abiding in Christ, you'll do it eventually in
Jesus' name. What does that mean for me? I'm comfortably
single and doing better in my classes (actually learning). Plus,
unlike most times, I am actually feeling positive-even in the worst of
times (turning in an assignment late!).
I hope you will all take a little time and read John 15 this week.
David
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| Allright. So, its the 13th and I'm in San Antonio chilling with
my cousins! I am also reading for next semester (hard books to
read-very secular, but challenging and well written nonetheless).
I am going to be busy this semester with school, but I know that God
will give me the strength I need. I was reading Ephesians today,
and it hit me. Even if I have desires and dreams that go against
God's will (at least for the present moment), God is forming my heart
to be His perfect dwelling place. How wonderful is our God that
He would take a fix-er-upper like me! Over and over again it says
"by grace you have been saved" (Jeremiah, I've got to say that you
reminding me of that this summer was a blessing. Thanks!).
Peoples, God could have started fresh with some other nation than
Israel. Time and time again He dealt with them with love and
justice. Sometimes the justice almost blotted out the love, but
through it all, God chose them, an imperfect group, to carry out His
testimony to the world. We are like the Israelites of old.
Do you not believe that Christ could not fashion a palace of ivory,
ebony, and all the riches of this world for his dwelling place?
Would it not be glorious? But no, He has chosen our hearts,
sinful though they are, for His throne room-His kitchen-His
sanctuary-His parlor room-His chapel. Beautiful.
I would very much like to join the UH raquetball club or this Houston
gaming group at theflamingduck.net. However, I am not sure either
of those will materialize. I am no longer planning to game with
my old group.
I would like to go backpacking. I would like to explore more
folklore. To write. To LEARN. To be consistent on my
spiritual journey with my heavenly Father. To actually discipline
myself like I've always known I should.
It is a new year. My ancestors, even in their pagan practices,
valued the fact that god had not chosen to destory the world and had
blessed them with a new year. Well, here we are. The full
moon was yesterday. Will this year be the same? I know it
will not-to the very depths and hurts of my own heart, for I will not
let it be. God as my witness, changes will happen.
I will try harder everyone. I don't feel that I was a good
friend, that I was selfless. I was so wrapped up in myself that I
didn't build relationships through Christ. I didn't prayerfully
consider who I dated, and to those I may have hurt or ruined future
friendships with, I am sorry. I want to be as Jesus would
be. To feed, clothe, laugh, play, weap, pray, talk, console,
heal, and work. I don't know how to do this. I'll need your
help and your grace, but I welcome the journey. In my selfish
wickedness, God has been faithful, so He will surely give me the
strenght I need.
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| Well, I thought I was over her...
Let me back up some. I got feelings for this M.G. over this summer and I was, to say it lightly, obsessed with her. So, I took it slow and calmly told her how I felt, and I was rejected. We resolved just to be friends, but her idea of "friends" is acquaintance--no intimacy or trust. That hurt me deep. Was it me? Was I ugly? Was I so horrible that she wouldn't even give me the time of day (which she did--once)?
I asked alot of people about this truth---God grants those who follow Him their hearts' desires. Now, I've heard that twisted numerous times by people trying to console me. "Maybe God is preparing you for someone better!" "Well, maybe God will change your desire!" You know what? Scripturally, these people are flat wrong. What I desire is not a forbidden fruit. No, God didn't promise me MG, but frankly, that is the only person I desire right now. So what? Do I hold onto the belief that one day I'll get her? No, that would rip me apart from the seams. Do I give up by surrendering it to God? I've tried it all. I've prayed the prayers and numerous times I felt I was over her. I even took the advice of some of my non-christian friends-date other people. But the people I dated aren't her. I don't really want them (although they really are great people, and I would love to be their friends, I just can't pursue and honest and deep relationship with them, if you get my drift!). Heck, I even entertained a bet with one of my friends-date 13 seperate girls a semester! That's just sick. I can't get her out of my mind, no matter how little I see her.
I feel unmotivated to pursue God deeper. Sure, I have a relationship with Him, but its almost as if He refuses to talk to me about it. I feel as if I have found my God-breaker. I feel I have slidden back in my walk with God.
I'm going to establish normalcy with God this semester. Praying, studying (no, not just reading scripture, diving in), and fellowshipping with fellow christians. I just hope this will be enough. I feel the key may come this summer @ Upward Bound in Austria. I'm going to be part of a 4-week spiritual, physical, and mental training put on by Torchbearers.
This holiday season has stripped me from my distractions and I don't like what I see. I see a man broken in despair. Oh, how I pray God would pull me out of this muck. I want to fly with Him again. I find it hard to grasp onto his promise that all things come together for good for those that seek Him. I sought Him and now I feel like I want no part of Him. Sure, I am alive, healthy, doing well in school, semi-popular... but I am not content.
I thank some of my christian brothers and sisters that opened their hearts and lives to let me in this past semester.
Please, keep praying. I will contintue to update as I feel it is necessary.
David Rose.
P.S.-Even though this is occuring, I am honestly excited about next semester, my classes and the Towers' Small Group. I am also ready to go back to Spring Branch. How I have neglected my sunday school group  ...
I hope you all have a merry Christmas and a happy new year in Christ. | | |
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